Mark’s ‘Oh Man, I Am So Hung Over’ Breakfast Bake
Mark Lahey
Ft Wayne, IN

Mark’s ‘Oh Man, I Am So Hung Over’ Breakfast Bake

Serves 2 people, maybe 4 hung over people if you add a
fruit, or a bagel and a heaping bowl of morning-after regret.

You need:

An oven-safe 12-inch frying pan.
Butter
Chopped veggies (onions, garlic, peppers, celery
and spinach)
Salsa - half cup or so
Salt - pepper - seasonings
Three slices of whole grain bread (small cubes)
Couple of tablespoons of milk
6 extra large eggs (beaten with the milk)
Shredded cheese (your choice)
A working oven that can heat to 350 degrees for
at least 15 minutes.

1. Start with the pan hot on the stove top and
add a couple tablespoons of butter.

You can substitute whatever oil option you like.
But butter tastes best and adds the
much-needed fat for your sorry, hung-over self.

2. Add Chopped Veggies And Salsa.

Typically we add equal amounts of onions,peppers,
and celery, just enough to cover the bottom of the pan.

Add the layer of spinach last, just till it wilts
enough to mix into the rest of the veggies.

How much veggies? Dude, I am barely capable of
chopping with my pounding headache so cut me some
slack. I didn’t measure it, okay? Maybe a cup or two?
You figure it out.

You might give the veggies a minute to cook in the
butter before you add the salsa, garlic and spinach.

Don’t add too much salsa, we just want to add a little
tomato-y goodness and not a lot of moisture.

*Note - We just use whatever veggies we have on hand.
Frankly, because of last night we look and feel terrible.
So it’s not like we are going to dash out to the market
for fresh ingredients. Plan ahead if you have a big night
scheduled.

*Disclaimer – While I am fully aware that this is supposed
to be a vegetarian recipe, I would like to amend this now by
adding the suggestion that perhaps if one was making this
dish for a rabid omnivore, the addition of 4 chopped Canadian
Bacon slices to the cooking veggies would completely rock.

3. Season To Taste.

Typically we add salt, pepper, and a few shots of hot sauce.

This is where I let you decided whatever you want it to taste
like. How many recipes have you read that when you get to the
seasoning part you think, ”Oh, this is gonna suck. Never mind, I
am adding my own stuff”.

How much?...it’s your decision, just don’t wreck it.

4. Add The Cubed Bread.

Stir the bread cubes into the veggie mix. The idea is to soak
up all the buttery, veggie juices with the bread and mix it to
all together.

*Note- while stirring in the bread cubes please take this
moment to ponder what you did last night. Sure hope you’re
happy with yourself now, Drinky McPartypants.

5. Add Some Shredded Cheese.

Typically we use the bagged, store-bought shredded colby,
or jack…whatever is in the fridge. The cheapo nacho/taco
cheese mix works great in this recipe. No one is going to give
a rat’s butt if you hand-shred some exotic cheeses from the
rolling pastures of France, so don’t bother.

How much? (Again with the accurate measures.) Clearly I
said “Some”. Muster up all of your culinary history and
decide for yourself what “Some” is.

If you must, please err on the side of “Oops, that might
be too much”. Because you cannot possibly get enough cheese
in you to bind yourself up from that last-call round of shooters
you just ‘had to have’.

6. Pour In The Eggs Over The Mix In The Frying Pan.

Take a large bowl and beat the heck out of the couple table-
spoons of milk and the 6 extra large eggs. I suggest over-beating
the eggs, not because it helps the recipe, but it helps vent the fru-
stration you’re experiencing from your wild night of boozery and
poor choices.

Now, don’t stir it, or fold it, or even look at it for too long…just
move on to #7.

*Note. This is where, if you want to get all fancy-schmancy
with it, you could add a handful of cheese and a garnish to
the top for some kind of a “presentation”. Whatever. At this
point all you really want to do is eat the thing and chug a giant
Gatorade with an aspirin chaser.

7. Put The Pan In The 350 Degree Oven.

This is where I always screw it up. I am cooking along,
trying to patch together the blank spots in last night's events,
and like an idiot I totally spaced on pre-heating the oven. So
there sits my pan, my breakfast is ready to go and I have no heat.
Way to go, Martha Freakin’ Stewart.

8. Cook for 15 minutes or so.

Keep an eye on it. You want the eggs to set and maybe get
a little golden. This won’t take long, it’s already half cooked
when you put it in the oven.

So don’t be all, “Oh I think I will sit down in the comfy chair
for 15 minutes and rest my aching eyes while this cooks”.
Because sure as heck you will fall asleep and be rudely awakened
when your smoke alarm goes off and your breakfast burns faster
than your brain cells after those 6 dirty martinis.

9. Let it cool for a minute and divide the pan into quarters.

Maybe top it with a little salsa.

Eat. Nap. Recover.

Suggested sides:

A vitamin – great to replace all of the nutrients you burned up
on your rampage.

Coffee – large, thick, dark and strong enough to cut through
the haze.

Juice – Oranges aren’t just for screwdrivers you know.

Bagel – More bread and carbs to soak up the gallon of
cocktails you ingested.

Fruit – No, a tropical drink garnish does not count.